My Dayeinu– It HAS Been Enough

I proudly sit before you today in the fabled minimall… for the very last time.

Yessssssssssssssssssss.

In 6 hours, I’ll move my stuff to the apartment, and probably do a happy dance on the bed and watch tv til my eyes fall out and eat 6 bowls of cereal and do my laundry without paying $6.50. I’ll stream hours of television on my high-speed wireless internet and i’ll listen to music without headphones and i’ll sleep through the night without being woken by europeans.

My life is about to change.

This morning when I woke up, I got a chance to watch some of last night’s debate. So that was cool. Also Borat was on in the common room last night, and us young jews get a real kick out of Borat. Listening to the fake-Khazak language he speaks, there were a few times in there that I was pretty sure he was speaking hebrew. Seriously, the subtitles and his voice were matching up pretty well… if he was speaking hebrew in a funny Russian accent, that really does add to the film. Think about it… a guy mocks super-anti-semitic, jew-fearing bigots by playing one on film, and they have no idea that he’s actually speaking the native tongue.

So Paul McCartney was pretty damn cool. I’ve been trying to post the videos i took, to give yall a taste, but because the internet is so shotty in here, I haven’t been able to. Check back tomorrow though, since I’ll have wicked awesome internet.

When I posted that blog about going to see him, I had just remembered that he was coming to Tel Aviv. I went online and looked it up, and it turned out the show was at 8pm in an outdoor venue near Hayarkon Park, which I had heard was up near the port. I of course didn’t have tickets, seeing as they were so damn expensive (apparently too expensive… I heard they lost money on the event, never sold out), but I figured, he’s 66 years old, when are we going to get to see this again? Who knows how long he’ll be doing this? And this is historic; no Beatle has been to Israel since 1965, and none of them ever played any music here at all.

The port’s about a 25-30 minute walk for me, so I was stoked. I grabbed some dinner, and at 7:15 i left the shuarma-shack that I got my dinner from (It only seemed appropriate; I was going to see Galia, which makes me think of Bryan, which inevitably leads me back to that damn nasty meat) and began walking up Ben Yehuda. I reached the port at about 7:50, and then started heading east, toward where I was told the park was.

It was not as close as I thought. It took me another 35 minutes to get there. But he started half past eight, so I walked up right as he was in the middle of “Hello Goodbye,” his opening tune.

I heard there were something like 40 thousand people inside, but there had to be five or six thousand doing what we were doing. I met up with Galia in a sea of people chilling outside the venue just to hear the Beatle as he rocked out a few Wings songs, a couple Paul songs, and a bundle of Beatles tunes. The setlist was:

****

Hello Goodbye

Jet

Drive My Car

Only Mama Knows

All My Loving

Flaming Pie

Let Me Roll It

My Love

Let Em In

The Long and Winding Road

Dance Tonight

Blackbird

Calico Skies

Follow the Sun

Mrs. Vanderbilt

Here, There, and Everywhere

Eleanor Rigby

Something

A Day in the Life

Give Peace a Chance

Band on the Run

Back in the USSR

I Got A Feeling

Live and Let Die

Let it Be

Hey Jude

****

Lady Madonna

Get Back

I Saw Her Standing There

****

Yesterday

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”

****

Just before Eleanor Rigby, a security guard came over to Galia and me and a few other people who were way up close to the gate. For the first half the concert, we were basically behind the stage, so we could hear decently but could see absolutely nothing. I didn’t even know I was going to be meeting Galia until the last minute, so I had brought a book, thinking I’d get to listen and enjoy the evening and not get to see a thing. But this security guard said to us, “You know what the difference is between you and the folks inside? They paid. Yall can see if you just go around.”

So we hurried around, and sure enough, we could see the screens really well. It didn’t matter we couldn’t see the stage itself, seeing as the venue was so big you really couldn’t see Paul anyway. But the rest of the show we saw from just outside the gates, and during the second encore, as Sgt. Pepper was beginning, they opened the gates and just let us all in, so we got to see the big finish from inside the venue.

It’s amazing to me the way this music just completely erases the separations between people and cultures. Everyone sings along to Blackbird and Yesterday, Paul doesn’t even have to sing Let it Be or Hey Jude, and people literally cry as he says “I don’t want to leave her now” in Something. There are kids with Beatles shirts and middle-aged lovers whose youth was defined by that music, and we’re all standing there, inside the venue and out, singing “SEEE HOW THEY RUNNNNN!!!”

Paul had some cue cards, too. “Ha’shira Hazot L’George,” he’s say in fugly British hebrew. “Ha’Shira Hazot L’John.” “Shalom, mah neeeeshmah?” “Toe-dahh.” And people went nuts when he tried the Hebrew. What struck me, though, was that he could speak in English, Hebrew, or Arabic, and the crowd went crazy. To say goodbye, he shouted, “Have a great night” in English, “Happy New Year” in Hebrew, and “Peaceful Ramadan” in Arabic. And the truth is, all of us were there.

I harbor no illusions that during those 2 hours, the Arabs didn’t hate the Jews and the Jews didn’t hate the Arabs and the Beatles won the day. It’s not that our differences went away… it’s that they really didn’t matter.

Isn’t that cool?

Anywhosits, I’m glad I went… although the 435 miles that I walked to get there and back left my ankles swollen and my body sore. I have Ulpan tomorrow, but then not again til next Sunday, since Monday’s ערב רוש השנה (New Year’s Eve), Tuesday’s רוש השנה (New Year’s Day), and Wednesday is the day the superjews continue רוש השנה. Yesterday and today featured much studying, and I imagine so will this next week.

I’m spending רוש השנה with Hadas’ family. It’ll be nice. I’ll bring a camera, and I’ll show yall what New Years in Israel (I call it Jew Years) is like.

Trojans Break My Heart, Jim and Pam Mend It

The damn Trojans do this to me every year. How sad.

But didn’t I call the whole Jim and Pam proposal thing? In your face America.

More later, including my awesome Beatle experience. -m

Baby You Can Drive MY Car

I’m just using the internet for a minute, because I need to go get some dinner and then go on my most exciting adventure yet.

Forty-three years ago, The Beatles were banned from Israel by the Israeli government. And today, Paul arrived for the first time ever, to do a “Friendship First” concert in Tel Aviv.

The concert is up north, near the port, about a 25 minute walk from the hostel, so I’m going to grab some food and then go for the gold. It’s an outdoor show, so I don’t need to buy a ticket, I’ll just crash on the grass and listen… after all, the cheapest tickets went for 500 sheckels, and i’m like an American bank right now. (Get it? Cause i’m totally broke?)

After hearing about John McCain’s “suspending” his campaign, I had a few thoughts that I thought about sharing with him. Since he probably won’t read the email, I figured I’d post it on my “Random Musings” page. I hope you’ll take the time to read it… so that somebody does. Let me again reiterate that I am a little bit pleased that I don’t have to be in America during this election season, because my gag reflex just couldn’t take it.

So folks, I’m off. Live and let die!

If you’re feeling like a pimp

Go on, brush your shoulders off.

What’s that in your hand Matthew? Why that’s the key to my new apartment. Thankyouverymuch. I move in Saturday night.

Also, enjoy this little picture. The guy lying down is German Misha (“I’m going to sex her!) and the guy standing next to me is Michael Giuseppe Scott. When I walked in they were having a very michael and dwight conversation about how you know whether someone’s laughing at you.

And as if my Michael Scott comparisons weren’t complete enough… today, as in Fun Run, I was coming back into the hostel room, and knocked on the door, and Michael said “Yes?”, so I proceeded. And yall… i mean, seriously… i just don’t…

I saw Michael Junior. ^*%*^&*^(*)(&*^%*^&$*%^&*@#$%^&*(*&^%$#

It gets better and better, doesn’t it?

Are you חמוש?

This was too funny not to comment on.

Every time I come into this mall, the security guards out front, as they search through my backpack, ask me, “Chamoush?” One time I said yes, and they said “Mah??” and I realized I had just said yes to something I didn’t understand, to an armed guard. So then I said “מצטער, העברית שלי רע מאוד” — “sorry, my hebrew is very bad”– and they checked me out and told me I could go in. Since then, when they say, “חמוש?” I always say no, and they let me in. I keep forgetting to look it up.

I just looked it up, and dude, I’m lucky I didn’t get hauled off to jail or something. “חמוש?” means “Are you armed?”

So, I think my answer now should probably be a resounding no…right?

Hey Hey Hey, I’m Fat Halpert

Either all the pregnant women on Earth are being transplanted into Israel, or there’s about to be a huge influx of Jewish babies.

Seriously, there are more pregnant women in this town than you could possibly imagine. They’re everywhere. It’s unbelievable.

For those of you who either don’t know me at all or haven’t read even a word of this blog, let’s get this all out on the table: I’m a big fan of The Office. Like, I can quote these episodes damn near perfectly, and random moments in my life remind me constantly of situations and lines and characters from Dunder Mifflin.

But I’ve got to tell you… some things are better left on TV.

I know a guy at SC who is, one hundred percent, Andy Bernard (more pre-anger management than post). If you don’t know who he is… ask someone close to me. You’ll totally see it. You know how when Andy comes to Scranton, he says to the camera, “I’ll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake.” ? Well, I’m pretty confident they got this stuff from the guy I know at SC. Uncanny.

Some of these characters are fun to have in your life. Like as obnoxious as he is, it is funny as hell that real-life Andy exists. Seriously, funny as hell. And I think having a real-life Kevin or a real-life Kelly, even a real-life Phyllis would be funny too.

But I have discovered, the hard way, that Michael Scott, as funny as he is on television, is not meant to truly exist. How did you find this out, Matthew? Well, see, he’s sleeping in the bunk bed next to mine.

Here are some examples:

1) This guy was a pilot in Italy. This afternoon, while I was reading, I noticed he was standing at the sliding glass window just kinda looking at me. I looked over at him, and realized he was basically just posing with his black “pilot’s log,” which he absolutely does not need for anything. He keeps changing the way he’s holding it, until he feels he’s caught my attention.

He says, “it’s a pilot’s log.” I say, “oh, yeah.” He says, “I told you i was a pilot right?” and I say “yeah you did.” He says “Yeah. Pretty much flew all over.”

2) In the episode The Secret, from season 2, Michael fancies himself Jim’s best friend, so every time Jim gets up to do anything, he asks him where he’s going and if he wants company. He also tells everyone that they’re like, best friends.

This has happened to me continuously since Friday. Tonight he came in with a slice of pizza, and I was about to head out to get dinner. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m going to get some dinner.”

“Ah, I’ll go with you!”

“Oh, actually, yeah I’m ok. Thanks though.”

“No I’m saying, I will like to go with you.”

“Oh, yeah, no that’s cool, I’m good. Thanks though.”

3) How about Chair Model, when Michael asks everyone for the names of women? Today he says, “you know any of the bitches?”

“Sorry what?”

“I need to find the girls. You know any i can make it with?”

“Wow.”

4) Yesterday was Diversity Day for me. He asked me if I was for Obama or McCain, and I said Obama, and he said, and I quote: “Ah, the black man. You’re ok with that?”

Matthew: “With what?”

Michael Scott: “With the n**gers?”

(matthew: blank stare, awestruck, grasping for the right words.)

Michael Scott: “Oh, you know, I mean the dark, the black people, in America, they’re black.”

Matthew: “Um… yeah…”

Michael Scott: “I get so angry with the people that don’t like the blacks. It’s like, they are so insensitive. The racism is terrible, I wish it would go away forever!”

5) In The Merger, when Karen comes in for the first time, Michael says in a martian/robot voice, “Take me to your leader… oh wait, I am your leader,” and then laughs at himself. In Goodbye Toby he talks to Holly in a Yoda voice. My Michael is a personal fan of the daffy duck noises. He does it, and then like a little kid, he waits for me to acknowledge his cleverness. He’s not even remotely self-aware, either… if I don’t acknowledge him, he keeps going til I do. If I do acknowledge him, he does it more. So it’s lose lose. Lose.

6) You know how Michael will interrupt Jim all the time for pointless crap? Like at the beginning of Traveling Salesmen, he uses the computer to talk to Jim… “Me so horny, me love you long tim. Long time, me lub yoy long time. You ruined a funny joke you, get out of my offive.” … “Boobs!”

Today I was studying, and he waved at me to stop listening on my headphones, so I took them off, and he showed me his computer. He had top gun playing, and he goes, “pretty great right? Do you want to watch?”

“No, man, thanks… i’m, you know, studying.”

 

When I look at this stuff, I can see the similarities to Andy… but the big difference is Andy only suckles at the power tit, while Michael just needs attention and friends. I’m pretty sure that if I were to be staying even one day longer than I am, I’d have to clamp my Michael’s face in a George Forman grill. Also I think there’s one glaring difference between Michael Gary Scott and Michael Giueseppe Scott, which is that tv Michael has, every once in a while, a redeeming quality that shines through. You know he means well, and that he’s a good guy, just an idiot. Real Michael, as far as I can see, hasn’t got these hidden nuggets.

So that’s my story. Tomorrow morning I’m going to get residency, and then I think I’m going to move all my money over to an Israeli bank account. Today the dollar is worth 3.31שח, and it’s dropping so fast that I need to get away from it stat. 4 days til i move in, or rather, 4 more nights of sleep in this hostel, with Michael, and then I’m free at last.

Anyway, needed to share with you. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy: Both. I want people to fear how much they love me.

אני יושב בעצמי…בבורעראנץ

So it’s monday. יום שני. Three days til the Office returns. 5 days til I can move into the apartment.

I didn’t study much this afternoon, my head was somewhere else. So I watched a movie and rested, and then I finished a couple tracks on my cd. I can smell victory at this point… I’ve wrapped 10 of 13 songs, and 2 of the last three are at about 85%. It’s not intended for mass consumption; I’ve put this thing together so that the guys I’m hoping to play with will listen to it and think, “man, if only i was playing [insert instrument here] on this track, it’d probably be decent.” The thing is, you can only do so much when you’re (a) recording all of the instruments, and (b) mixing in GarageBand.

Anyhow, I’ve created the cover art from a picture i accidentally took when I was listening to this annoying italian guy talk my ear off in the hostel. I screwed around with the lights and the edges and stuff, and I’m not an artistic guy, but I think it looks pretty sweet. The CD is tentatively to be called “Forget All Things,” a lyric from one of the tracks, and should be done by the middle of October, at the latest.

So any of you who wanted to know what the beard looks like…

So life’s plain here. I talked to Avram tonight and he mentioned that one of the ways he made buddies out here was playing basketball on the public courts in the city, which sounds really great to me. Maybe I’ll head out there tomorrow afternoon. Hmmm…

I really have no news… i just got really excited about the music, and was at the computer, so figured why not. So I hope everyone’s livin large.

Oh, and quick note to Senators McCain and Obama: Regardless of who wins this election, yall better fix things stat. I’m losing money just by existing over here. Since wednesday, the dollar has dropped from 3.48 sheckels to 3.40, and at that rate, by the time I leave my apartment will cost me like 1500 a month. So, i mean, dammit, come on.

Love and cholera. Or something.

You Never Touched My Propecia, did you?

Or my acutane? Cause that stuff is… lethal…

The Office comes back in 5 days! oh man. How exciting.

Uncle Barry asked me in a comment whether I had gotten a general idea of the political climate out here regarding our election in the states. I thought maybe I’d tell yall a little about what I’ve come to discover since I’ve been here.

Naturally, this is not absolute… Ayala has been reading my blog now, so it’s entirely possible that she’ll read this and say that I’m way off. But I’m just telling you what I’ve heard and seen so far.

Sophomore year of college, I worked on a research project for the IR department on “cultural diplomacy,” or the ways in which American film, television, music, theater, and literature could function as political tools of statecraft. The whole idea is that there are to kinds of power, Hard Power and Soft Power. “Hard Power” is the strength of a state’s military, its economy, its government and state resources, etc. “Soft Power,” originally conceived by Joseph Nye (pictured) is the power that a state is able to exert through non-governmental and non-political means; in other words, America has traditionally gotten its “Hard Power” from a strong capitalist economy and a large, able military with technological resources, and we’ve gotten our “Soft Power” from the ideals of democracy, freedom, and liberty, and from people around the world watching everything from Casablanca to Project Runway, listening to albums ranging from Born to Run to Baby One More Time.

You get the picture. If you get a chance, take a peek at this book, too.

In the past few years, Ethiopian Jews have been migrating to Israel because they’re not safe in Ethiopia and they are instant citizens here. They’re emigrating into 1950s America, though… black people are sort of a new phenomenon in Israel, and since they’re citizens, they’re getting jobs and taking housing and making it harder for long-standing citizens to maintain their same quality of life. Thus, the combination of racism and ageism makes everyone here a little suspicious of Obama… Hen’s step-mother went as far as to say she doesn’t trust him “because he seems like a snake.”

My impression here, as I mentioned shortly a few posts ago, is that the older and more jaded crowd is unwavering in their support of McCain, and the younger crowd is more mixed. When they go through the process of really counting out all the different outcomes, they say that on the surface, McCain is better for Israel and Obama is better for America, and the smarter people say that in reality, what’s better for America is better for Israel. Hen said to me, “The Tzevah is strong, and I am proud to have fought, but truthfully we can’t stay safe if America is weak. You guys are poor now, and your military is everywhere, and your president is crazy.”

I mentioned the Soft Power thing because there’s something that really jumps out at me about the Israeli perspective on American politics. On the cable networks here, basic cable, there is only one American news station. If people in Israel want to know what’s happening in the political arena in the United States, there is but one source that is available to the majority of people. And if your stomach feels funny reading this, then you know what I’m about to tell you.

It’s Fox-News.

I think that plays a big part in the way that Israelis perceive the upcoming election. Because they only know what they hear on Fox News, or what Israeli news tells them. And the thing is, Israeli news covers the basics, but anyone paying close attention is forced to get their information from arguably the least factual, least balanced “source” that has ever called itself news media.

Anyway, Uncle B., that’s what I got for you. The people that support Obama are passionate, the ones that support McCain are just kinda going with it, and everyone else just wants to know what the hell they’re going to do to keep Crazy Mahmoud from dropping the A-bomb on Tel-Aviv.

Last night I was feeling sort of lousy so I popped a Nyquil at 11 and passed out. At 2:30am, the pricks who are sleeping in my hostel room came in and turned on the lights and were all noisy and woke me, and in my Nyquil stupor I tore them new ones. I sat up in bed and said, “(bleep) guys, turn off the lights and shut the (bleep) up. it’s two thirty in the god (bleep) morning.” One of them, an Aussie, said, “Oh yeah mate, we’ll turn em off in a minute, just gotta get ready for bed,” and i said, “Look, if you wanted to be able to make noise and turn on the lights in the middle of the (bleep)ing night you should have booked a (bleep)ing hotel. I’m trying to sleep here, and you pay for what you get, so either get the (bleep) out or shut the (bleep) up.”

They were quiet after that.

You don’t mess with this.

Yeah I know how you feel buddy. Also, does this seem terribly inhumane to anyone else?

In related news, I move into the apartment on Saturday evening, one week from today. And it really couldn’t come a moment too soon. Living in the hostel, out of a suitcase, with jackasses from all over the world invading your personal space 24/7, it doesn’t feel like living, it feels like traveling. So, as I told my dad yesterday, I’m not really going out, or making friends, or really doing anything but study. I know that will change once I have settled in here, unpacked my suitcase for the first time (6 weeks now i’ve been living out of a bag but not moving anywhere), and begun making cereal for breakfast and watching tv a little before bed.

The way that I know I’m getting better at Hebrew is that restaurants that I visit regularly used to speak to me in English only. Then they started speaking to me in Hebrew at first, then dropping into English when I started to get confused. And now, at the Aroma near my hostel, at the McDonalds, at the sandwich shop down on Lilienblum (awesome place… Emily, get ready), I order and speak entirely in Hebrew, and they do the same with me. It’s encouraging, especially since running into new words I don’t know on a 2-minute basis, every day, can really be exhausting.

I feel hung over from that Nyquil.

Speaking of McDonalds, remember I told you I was going to try to live on that 46 sheckel per day budget? I thought I’d grab some McDonalds yesterday, you know, to live cheap. I got chicken nuggets, fries, and a small coke. It was 48 sheckels. That’s almost 14 dollars. Unbelievable.

Some expressions that have made me feel sorry for English as a Second Language students:

By Myself- What are you by? Oh, I’m by myself.

I can’t stand it- Think about that. That’s not even slang, it’s like, a real expression.

Hold on- To what exactly?

That’s right- I mean, this may seem simple… but right means correct. It’s also a direction. That’s not really true in any other language. If I told anyone here to turn Nachon, they’d think I was mental.

Big day- Aren’t they all the same size?

T-Shirt- I don’t think I even know where that comes from. 

That’s what she said- I’m not really sure if that’s a tough one for them, but I do know it doesn’t translate here. Believe me. I’ve tried.

No sunlight, no sunlight

Actually it’s really sunny and beautiful here. I’m just listening to that song.

Eddie, I talked to Bryan yesterday and he reminded me of when we used to be as dumb as you. What i mean is this: in my minimall, upstairs, there’s this italian restaurant. When we were here for birthright in December, Bry and I went to this very restaurant and had dinner with Charlie and Brett, our new buddies from Cornell, and when the waitress came to take our orders, Bry and I tried to order a pepperoni pizza. The waitress looked at us puzzled, and we were sure it was a language barrier issue. “You know,” I said, “the little slices of ham on the… ohhhhhhhh…”

Dude, this is Jewville. They don’t have cheeseburgers here. Or pepperoni pizza, or chili cheesedogs, or Philly Cheesesteaks. So thanks a lot for offending thousands of years of Jews.

Just kidding. But seriously, there’s no such thing as a cheeseburger in Israel.

My hebrew is getting so much better, so quickly. The hostel workers only speak to me in hebrew now, and they’re terribly impressed with my progress. I even got Meirav to tell me where I can find laundry detergent, and she gave me directions to the nearest supermarket. And then she “kol ha’kavod”ed me (way to go) for being a rad Israeli.

Speaking of laundry detergent… i’m out of clean clothes. See? I’m back to the old me. Time to do the wash.

Also, I have a full beard now, and everyone thinks I’m israeli, so that helps. Anyone who drops into english for me, I now know enough to say “Hey, I need to learn hebrew, don’t speak to me in english.” They get impatient, but when the see how hard I’m trying, they laugh and pat me on the shoulder.

I need a job. I went to the Ministry of Interior, but apparently they’re open Sunday thru Wednesday, not Sunday thru Thursday, so I have to miss some ulpan to get either my visa or my temporary residency. Yesterday I went online and checked my account, and if I’ve done the math right, if you subtract my apartment and ulpan for the next few months, and not including any assistance I’ve been offered (thanks dad, we’ll see), it looks like without a job I can stay out of debt if I live on 45.90 sheckels per day, or about 321.50 per week. That’s about 13 bucks a day, and it’s doable, but I’d rather do some work and not come back totally broke

I’m not in the best of spirits today, and I am thinking I’ll feel less claustrophobic and dirty when I wash my clothes, take a shower, and take some deep breaths.

Yesterday’s post was the first of a few pretty substantial posts that will be coming, and I was disappointed to only be able to write so little, so quickly. Maybe I’ll write the stuff down first, so I can get it all in under the wire. I hope you don’t mind reading more weighty stuff… these things are supposed to be fun, I know, but what good is sending me around the world if you’re not going to take anything away from it?

I miss yall, truly. It’s really incredible to be in this amazing new place, seeing things and doing things I’ve not really done before… but a hint of familiarity now and again wouldn’t kill me.

Haha…downer… sorry. Anyway, I think Tumtum (that’s what I’m calling the dumb guy at BurgerRanch) just started a shift, so I probably need to clear out. Jackass.

Shalom homies.

Here, Have a Cup of Perspective

So the folks in my fabled minimall fixed their glitch. There will be no more internet poaching. F!

I bet the mentally challenged kid in Burger Ranch is thrilled.

Ok let me back up, because I’m relatively certain that I sounded horribly insensitive. This guy works at BurgerRanch, which is this really gross fast food joint in the Minimall. There are two sets of tables in this mall, the Aroma Coffee Shop tables near the front and the BurgerRanch ones near the back, and it just so happens that the power outlet that I use to stay online for so many hours is on the BurgerRanch half.

This guy always works nights…like, every night from 8-2…and I hate when he comes in. I hate it because I am literally always the only person sitting at a table in the minimall, but he always makes me switch to an Aroma table since I am not a customer. I would understand if he needed to make room for customers, or if I was leaving a mess for him to clean up, but neither of these things is true. He’s just enforcing the rules.

When I knew enough hebrew to finally say something, I said, “Look brother, there is not a single customer here. If you guys need this table to seat patrons, I’ll move, but I need the power outlet! Come on, I’m being clean. Please let me sit here?”

I was even more pissed that night when he made me move.

I have seven minutes, so I’ll cut to the chase.

Something struck me about this country that I want to share with you all. Those of you I’ve talked to know that everything is really expensive… it’s actually remarkable. Partly because the eurotourists bring their euros, they get away with highway robbery in these shops. A can of coke is 6 sheckels, which is like $1.80, and that’s not that bad here.

Despite the high cost of living here, the minimum wage is a mere 19 sheckels an hour, which is about $5.50.

Here’s the thing though: this is a rash generalization, but for the most part, people in Israel don’t save up for retirement. They spend what they have, and they work til they die or they work til their kids support them. Nobody saves, and it’s because of the uncertainty of their futures here. Everyone is waiting for the bomb to drop, nobody plans 20 years or even 10 years down the road here. So they spend what they have, they live day to day, they smoke hundreds of cigarettes each hour.

There’s a hightened sense of their mortality here, and i know it sounds morbid but it really isn’t. It’s one of the things I love most about Israel. It’s like a nationwide policy to live in the moment and appreciate every day. I don’t consider myself even a fraction religious, but I can identify with the plight of the Jewish people, who’ve suffered for millenia, and who to this day do not trust the idealism of a future. We’re cynics, but we live each day as each day.

Here’s to all of you. Love love love.