Let’s Set the Record Straight

Ok, so I voted today, which is really exciting. Faxed ‘er in! I’ll call tomorrow to make sure I’m all set… but man it felt good to bubble that thing in. Oh, and for those of you who were keeping track, I voted as follows on the propositions: 1. YES 2. YES 3. NO 4. NO 5. YES 6. YES 7. YES 8. NO 9. YES 10. NO 11. YES 12. YES. You’re welcome Kelly… end of the day, I couldn’t vote against those damn chickens.

It’s pretty late at night, and I’m kind of tired, so I’ll write a real entry tomorrow, but I really wanted to take a minute and vent about this whole story about Barack Obama and his ties to Rashid Khalidi. As a resident in the state of Israel, as a Jewish American, and as a decently educated human being, I can tell you all that I am irate.

Rashid Khalidi is an established intellectual at Columbia University, chairing their Middle East Institute. Because Senator McCain’s campaign is floundering in the home stretch, their campaign of late (or in general, really) has been what I like to call “pulling a neo-conservative” and attempting to fear monger all the way to the White House. Instead of telling us about his comprehensive economic plans, his military and foreign policy ideas, and his vision for our country’s future, he and Gov. Palin and the GOP surrogates have relentlessly provided us, ad nauseum, with character assaults and other scare tactics. Their three best known targets: ACORN, William Ayers, and now, Rashid Khalidi.

One of my big problems with all of this is that the rhetoric of the McCain campaign, coupled with the idiocy of much of middle America, is bringing out the absolute worst in our citizenry. I know this makes me an “elitist,” but do me a favor… go onto YouTube and search for a McCain rally. You’ve all heard this stuff on the news networks, and my opinion on this is actually fact: these people are not just morons, they’re ignorant and hateful. And most pathetic is the McCain camp’s refusal to outright condemn the behavior of those supporters who yell “Muslim” and “Terrorist” and “Kill Him” and derogatory racial epithets.

But Rashid Khalidi is merely a prominent individual who happens to support the Palestinians in the eternal struggle over the holiest of lands. Though it is true that his view is entirely opposite mine and the general Jewish (and Christian, for that matter) population’s, the claim that he was a spokesman for the PLO is rubbish. And at the end of the day, is it so wrong that he, a Palestinian-American, believes his people deserve peace? Is it anti-American or evil to believe the Palestinians are victims?

Professor Rashid Khalidi

The truth of it all is that the world is not as simple as a bad action flick. There are rarely pure good guys and pure bad guys, absolutely evil oppressors and entirely helpless victims, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict fits that bill too. Not every Palestinian wants war… and not every Israeli wants peace. Hell, my friend Chen’s father would rather the Israeli government quash what he considers a Palestinian “insurrection” by military means just to keep his house in the territories. Hardly anyone is innocent.

Until we come to accept that both sides have grievances, both have been unfairly oppressed, and both sides’ populations, for the most part, want to live peacefully in the land of their fathers and forefathers, there will never be peace. And a good Jewish voter, a good American voter, would recognize this. I’m living here, closer to the Palestinian people than LA is to San Francisco… so listen to what I’m telling you!

Here’s the thing that really befuddles me: when did being Muslim become synonymous with being anti-american, and when did having an unpopular opinion become a form of evil in our country? Fundamentalists don’t get jobs at premiere universities in the United States. Rashid Khalidi isn’t a suicide bomber, and I guarantee you that if you asked him, he would tell you that such radical, delusional “martyrdom” is nothing short of despicable. But how can we expect to guide the Middle East to peace without having a balanced, intellectual conversation, with scholars on both sides working to achieve both communal peace and individual group satisfaction?

There are a few reasons that I believe Senator Obama is the right guy for Israel. I trust that he will work to mend our alliances and ease tensions with our enemies, thus stabilizing the region. Additionally, a weak America is hardly a helpful ally to Israel, and if his economic plan steers us back in the right direction, which I believe it may very well do, we can continue to attempt to maintain the peace. And I think he really has the right ideas, and the right staff, to guide the peace process over the next four, or eight, years.

But what really makes me feel good about Obama in Israel is that he is willing to talk about governing instead of only politics. Jews, I understand why you feel McCain is a better Israel supporter… It’s hard not to think that when he reiterates his unflinching, unbending, unshakable love for and commitment to Israel. That plays great politically, and it’s suicide for a candidate to say anything else. But Obama has had the strength to say, look, I will always support our great friends in the Middle East… but the Israeli government isn’t infallible, and there are things that both sides need to do differently in order for us to achieve peace.

Tzipi Livni and Ehud Olmert

The Israeli government, truth be told, is a mess. For those of you who haven’t been following, check out the link on the right of this page to the Jerusalem Post, and read up on politics. Tsipi Livni couldn’t get enough support in the Knesset, and so ran out of time to garner support and sit as Prime Minister, so she’s now asking President Shimon Perez for an early, immediate election. The uber-religious Chasids are infighting, the political parties are infighting, and meanwhile Hezbollah is the Lebanese army and the only country that scares Israel more than Syria is Iran, whose belligerent president continues to talk about this country like it’s the rotting excrement of civilization.

I’m not saying I agree with Rashid Khalidi. In fact, I disagree with him in almost every way. But it is time for our country to stop trying to paint everything black or white, red or blue, evil or righteous. And I trust the man whose thirst for knowledge pushes him to process every position and every fact far more than I do the one known for his short fuse and reactionary behavior. I, not only as a “Jewish American” but as an American who simply cares, will put my faith in a man whose intellect and passion combine to allow him to pursue the best interests of our nation and the world rather than a man who believes that being a Muslim means being a terrorist, that empathizing with the plight of the Palestinian people is unamerican and unpatriotic.

Regardless of what some of you most ignorant of fools may believe, this country was not founded to be a “Christian Nation.” Instead, it was written in our founding documents that every American citizen would be permitted to say and do and pray as they pleased, and that no law would ever bar Americans from their inalienable right to an unfettered and full life. If this is what we’re coming to, if we’ve turned Islam into a punishable offense, if Muslim Americans are to be subjected to ridicule, verbal assault, and the threat of violence, do you really believe that Judaism will forever be safe? What about Hinduism? Buddhism? Ba’hai?

Hate is a slippery slope, and we are better than this. We can be better than this. Here’s to hoping that a week from today, we’ll have taken a big step in the right direction.

Better Baller Baby

Much to tell.

I’ve figured out how to measure progress in hebrew. See, there are different levels to the language, and it’s pointless to measure by “level 1″ and “level 2,” since there’s really no practical application of those numbers. So for those of you interested in learning hebrew, here’s your guide:

Level 0: You don’t even have to open your mouth for people to know you’re clueless. I’ve never had that problem here, save maybe for my first few days on Birthright last December. It’s far easier to avoid this level if you look Israeli, as many say I do.

Level 1: You say something in Hebrew, and the waiter answers in English. I was at this level for a while. It’s particularly difficult to leap past this plateau because the accent is tricky to master. For example, their R sound is more like a rounded G than it is like our R. More subtle is their L, which is different enough from ours that they can tell the difference, but similar enough that we typically can’t. They say L with their tongue against their front teeth, while we say it with our tongue against the roof of our mouths. Think about it.

Level 2: People get annoyed with you until they realize how hard you’re trying. I like this level. I’m pretty sure I’m straddling it and the next one, it sort of depends on how tired I am and how enthused I feel. This is the level at which I kept getting free desserts and stuff… man I should have just quit while I was ahead.

Level 3: All the Israelis think you’re either an idiot, a jackass, or deaf. This is the level at which you know how to speak pretty well, things roll of the tongue pretty nicely, all in all you’re progressing… but everyone in Israel speaks so freaking fast you just can’t understand. So you find yourself asking them to repeat what they said, or you give them the deer in headlights stare. But since you asked them the question in pretty rock solid hebrew, they think you’re one of those three things.

Level 4: You can have a whole conversation, but then afterwards they ask you where you’re from. On my best days, I’m here. Which is sweet. When I went to dinner with Ivy and Josh on Thursday night, I was the only one who could really communicate with the Taxi driver and the waiters at the restaurants we went to. They could tell that we were american, but when i spoke to them in hebrew, they humored me and had full conversations with me. It was a good night for me.

Level 5: The dudes in the kiosks and phone stores and shops don’t try to screw you. Yeah I haven’t gotten here yet. You indicate even for a second that you aren’t totally confident with your hebrew, they’ll try to sell you a 75 sheckel phone card for 150. Or a 5 sheckel bottle of water for 15 shecks. Crafty little dudes they are.

I got a text message last night at 2 am that said, “Kama gulot yesh po?”, which is “How many marbles are there here?” It’s a joke about my Rosetta Stone program, how some of the things they teach are just so useless. I mean, that question teaches you how to ask a “How Many” question, but marbles? Really? When will I need that?

Anyway, the text was from Ayala, so I called her phone. I asked her, “Where are you?” and she said, “near Ra’anana!” Sure enough, she cut her trip short and has returned to Israel… which is great news for me. We’re going to talk on Sunday, and hang out some time early this week. I’m stoked to have friendsies.

Actually, on the friendsies front I’m starting to do okay. Next week I’m going to go to a barbecue for Eliran (Hadas’ friend with the Porno King shirt), for his birthday, which should be cool. And I went to the Sporteck today with my new basketball and played a few pick-up games with some guys. Everyone is god-awful, which makes me the American NBA star… my new hoopin’ buddies Avi and Yoav are going to play with me again next Saturday.

So seeing as I actually have someone to talk to in Hebrew, or a few people, I need to get back to hitting the books, hard. I’m excited for class tomorrow… finally, we’re done with the crazy monsoon of holidays, so we’ll get some consistency back.

In a few minutes, there’ll be another post up on the Random Musings page. My ballot should arrive any day now, and I thought I’d share my thoughts on the California Propositions, tell yall which way I’m planning to go. You don’t have any obligation to read them, but this is my way of thinking about them and determining my opinions, so I’m doing it anyway.

Fight On Trojans, Beat the Wildcats!

Control Yourself! Take only what you need…

Yall need to check out The Kooks’ cover of MGMT’s “Kids.” It’s superb. Really.

This afternoon I went to the coffee shop that gave me the paper clip salad the other night, and got a coffee. I asked the waitress what people do for the holiday (it’s the 2nd sukkot celebration i guess) and she started explaining Jewish ritual to me. I stopped her and said, what about the secular people? what do they do?

She says in Hebrew, “Like they do on all Jewish holidays… they eat.”

So there aren’t parties or anything going on tonight, but everyone’s off. No school today (a good thing since a migraine kept me up last night), studying on my own. I started writing another tune today. If it sticks, it will be my 7th success since coming to Israel. I think that impresses me more than it does anyone else, since you’ve no idea how fast that is… especially for me, considering how many songs i throw out in disgust.

During the migraine, i got to watch New England trounce the Broncos. That pissed me off… I dont like the Patriots. Though I was happy to see the Red Sox got knocked off. As Spencer says, the MLB is going to regret not rigging it to put Boston vs. LA into the Series… it’s like a Spurs-Pistons NBA Finals. Nobody cares.

I still have this dull headache, but I’m drinking water and relaxing and i got a little Advil. This week some time I’m going to grab dinner with Josh Miller, who’s living and working in Tel Aviv also, and his mom, Ivy (for those of you who don’t know the family tree… Ivy Miller is my Dad’s Leslie’s sister-in-law, Josh being Leslie’s nephew). They wanted me to go to Haifa with them today, but I finally passed out and couldn’t get out of bed on so little sleep with that migraine.

Welp, I’ve got a whole lot of nothing to take care of, so I’m gonna go. Gotta get back to my riveting book, הארי פוטר והנסיך חצוי-הדם, or as we say in the biz, Wizard-Meets-Bible. Hebrew Potter’s where it’s at man.

Shalom out.

I’m Officially An Israeli (Douche)

What i mean is this: I now say “ani lo mehveen, ha ivrit sheli ra meh’od. mah atah rotzeh mimeni?” (I don’t understand, my hebrew is very bad. What do you want from me?) well enough, with enough fluidity, that people just think i’m lying.

So I seem like an ass. But when people get frustrated, it usually just makes me laugh.

That’s all to report today.

I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller, I Wish I Was A Baller

Like I’ve said before… classic music is classic music everywhere.

It’s been a nice, quiet few days since we last chatted, folks. I think Sukkot is more exciting for Israelis than it is for visitors, because it’s really just a time for Israelis to do all the things us tourists do all the time. What I mean is, Sukkot is like a “fall break” for Israelis, so all the vacationish things, like the Tel Aviv beaches and the movie theaters and the parks and the restaurants and stuff, they’re filled with Israelis enjoying a little time off from work and school and stuff. Other than that, life’s pretty much the same.

I’ve spent a lot of time studying, and a lot of time relaxing. The beach was pretty bumpin a few days ago, with all these israelis out there, and things have been relaxing. I’ve watched some TV (tonight I’m watching the SC game on TV, in my apartment!) and little gems have kept the week pretty delightful. Here are the highlights:

1.  My new roommates moved in. It’s this girl, Romina, and her brand-spankin-new husband. They’re going on their honeymoon tomorrow, in Eilat (down by the red sea, the southernmost border of Israel) and they’re really nice people. They’ve made dinner for me twice now. So that’s awesome.

2.  The other night, I was eating dinner in a cafe near my apartment. I found an unwound paperclip in my salad, so they gave me a free slice of cheesecake. In unrelated news, I’ve begun bringing small office supplies with me to every meal.

3.  My hebrew is now officially good enough that I can stumble through “הארי פוטר 6″, The Half Blood Prince. You have no idea how hard it is… but I can finally sort of read it. That’s cool.

4.  I watched the debate on TV here the other night, and it was fun watching my dude and Gollum go to town… although I don’t know about yall, but I’m pretty sure that Joe the Plumber is both (1) not topical and (b) a total dumbass.

5.  I’m still not out of deodorant, and that’s a huge plus. That stuff’s like 8 bucks a stick here.

Anyway, I’m gonna go watch the game. Fight On! Thankfully, i FINALLY have class again tomorrow, so life’s swell. Hope you’re all well.

Tis The Season To Be Jewly

So it’s holiday season in Israel, and it’s been a trip, man.

A couple weeks ago, I went to Hadas’ family’s Rosh Hashana celebration, and it was really cool. I wrote about it, if you didn’t get a chance to see… the new year here is a much different experience, but like every Jewish holiday, it’ tasty and loud and festive.

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the Jewish calendar, but basically, this is a big month for us jewsies. Tishrei is the first month of the Hebrew calendar, and it features 4 important holidays: Rosh Hashana (the new year), Yom Kippur (the day of atonement), Sukkot, and Simchat Torah. We’ll come back to those second two later.

Rosh Hashana reminded me a little bit of Thanksgiving (on Erev Rosh Hashana) and Christmas (on Rosh Hashana itself) in the states. Families gather around the table and eat a big dinner, they enjoy each other’s company, they celebrate together. Places are closed, but like, the chinese and japanese food restaurants stay open, and the movie theaters are open. I really like to believe that the Muslims and Christians go to see a few movies and eat chinese food on Rosh Hashana… it makes me feel good about all those Christmases I’ve spent in movie theaters in El Paso.

But Yom Kippur was a whole different ball game. I was at a cafe on the afternoon before Yom Kippur, eating what would be my last supper before the fast, and I asked my waitress where a temple was. She told me they are everywhere (which is true… you don’t even notice til you’re walking there on Yom Kippur and people are crowding around these buildings all over the place), but that I could find one that’s not orthodox and that’s not too formal or crazy a few blocks away. So I came home and threw on khakis and a white button down shirt, and left for the temple.

The streets were empty but for people walking to temple in their white clothes, children and mothers and old jews in wheelchairs, all going to the bait k’nesset to repent, or pretend to repent, or do what they were supposed to be doing. I found the temple and walked in, and since there were no seats left, I stood near the door and read along in the prayer book. You might be surprised to hear that it didn’t surprise me that I knew a lot of the songs and prayers and melodies… which is pretty cool, if you think about it. Jews all over the world know the exact same melody to Kol Nidre, the song that kicks of the repentant fiesta that is Yom Kippur, and we all know the same aleinu and amidah. Except now I’m starting to understand what the prayers actually mean, not just what the translations say they mean. So that’s cool.

I came home and enjoyed a quiet evening of studying, writing music, and reading. I watched a little tv on my computer, and then passed out.

In the morning, I was woken by the people next door, who were obviously not fasting… there’s no way you have the energy to do what they were doing, as loudly and as often as they were doing it, if you’re not hydrating and nourishing yourself. Seriously, these people are like bunnies… they wake me up at 4am, or go all day… it’s unbelievable.

When they say nobody drives, they mean nobody drives. It’s as if every street in Tel-Aviv is closed… these pictures were taken in the middle of one of the busiest streets in the busiest city in Israel. People always act so surprised that Israel won the Yom Kippur War back in the sixties, but it’s no wonder; you can hear a pin drop in this country on the Holiest of holy days. And it’s not even that everyone’s praying or that everyone’s repenting or in temple or anything like that… wandering the streets, I saw a good number of people just sitting or lying down, thinking and reflecting and taking things in.

It gets back to what I loved about Israel in the first place: being a Jew in Israel has nothing to do with religion or faith. These holidays are holidays that we share as a people, not as a religion, so even the people who had no interest in going into a temple could take the day to reflect on who they are and who they want to be, what they’ve done and what they’ll do tomorrow. Yom Kippur in Israel is a day of quietude and introspection, not just for the Chasidic Jews or the practicing faithful but for everyone who calls Israel a home or a refuge.

I think that’s pretty cool.

Over the last few days I’ve done a lot of studying, written a bunch of music, gone to the beach, and wandered up to the SportTec to play basketball. I didn’t get to play, since I don’t have a ball and there were no games going, but Avram was right about the guys playing out there: they’re total wimps. They suck at basketball, like woah, and I can’t wait to actually get a game going. When I went to the beach, I made an alarming discovery: the Mediterranean is much colder than the last time I swam in it. It’s cooling off here, albeit slowly, and I wasn’t thrilled with the un-bathlike condition of the sea. Come on, Global Warming. WTF?!

I spent the morning studying on my own yesterday. It’s time for me to pay for 4 more weeks of Ulpan, and I didn’t want one of those weeks to include Sukkot, a week when we’ll only have one day of class, so I didn’t bother going to Ulpan. I am not even going to try to explain what Sukkot’s about, because I am not religious enough to devote my time to remembering all the things I learned in Sunday School back in the day, but I know it has something to do with the harvest and with celebrating the gifts of the earth. People erect Sukkahs, like little tents or shacks that allow you to see the stars, and traditionally they would eat and sleep in them. That starts today, and I’ve heard it’s a really exciting time to be in Israel.

So superjew season is wrapping up in the next week. Next Wednesday, they’ll unroll all the torahs and roll them back up at the start (Simchat Torah), and everyone will dance merrily, and we’ll be done with the holiday downpour. Tonight I’m going to head up to the Tel-Aviv Port, where there’s a sukkot festival of the arts that should be pretty gnarly. I’m also going to try to make my way down to Jerusalem on either Wednesday or Thursday, and maybe stay a night in a hostel and check out Sukkot down there. Apparently there’s this 1000 square meter sukkah in the center of town that would be cool to see… I was going to try to see Hen and his dad’s familiy for Sukkot, but apparently during Yom Kippur and Sukkot they close off all the checkpoints and everyone in the Palestinian territories is, to ensure the security of the interior, stuck out there.

So that’s my story, folks. I’ll write again soon.

Show Me The כסף

Today’s Erev Yom Kippur, the holiest of evenings in the Jewish religion, and I’ve got a few notes.

1: Matthew is going to temple. Yes, it’s as surprising to me as it is to all of you… but I figure, if I don’t go to temple I’ll just sit at home, seeing as every single jew in Israel is going to temple so everything is closed and there are no friends around. Also, I imagine it’s an experience, going to a synagogue on the Day of Atonement in the Motherland. So I’m going. I’m pretty sure I radiate disbelief, but hopefully nobody will pay attention.

2: Matthew is going to fast. Mainly because it’s apparently horribly offensive to do any of the following things on Yom Kippur, even if you’re not religious at all: drive, watch TV, yell, smoke, giggle, or eat. So I ate this great penne pasta thing at a café near my apartment and I drank a coke, the least exciting pre-fast meal I’ve ever eaten, and at 5 I’ll head over to the temple with what I have in me belly. I’m less than enthused, but whatever. It’ll be an experience.

3. העברית שלי נשתפר מהר. It really is, although I’m not studying nearly as much as I should be anymore. Gotta get back on track.

4. In n Out is making me sad. 25 cent burgers? 10 cent drinks? While their most devoted customer is in Israel? Jerks.

5. Sorry about the photography. I do realize that I’ve done a really terrible job of posting photos. I’ve just placed my camera in my pocket, and I will take many, many more pictures and start updating the page tonight. Seriously, my apologies to all.

6. Four weeks to go until my Hebrew has to be solid. I gotta be set when Ayala gets back, and I’d love to be able to speak decently when mom comes in for her trip on the 10th of November. I’m on a mission here, and I will not fail. I’m like… Butch Cassidy… or… Mozart… or Mozart’s friend… or something.

7. I’m starting to forget Governor Palin, and I’m digging the shift. I was telling Jeff yesterday how when I think of Sarah Palin now, I don’t think of her… I think of Tina Fey. Instead of going from “stupid thing Palin said” to “Gov. Palin” to “Tina Fey as Gov. Palin,” I’m skipping the second step and going from “stupid thing Palin said” straight to “Tina Fey as Gov. Palin,” so instead of feeling like puking, I smile. It’s nice, actually. I highly recommend it.

Now that I think of it, it’s almost a shame that an Obama win would mean Palin vanishes back into the fray. What a waste of funsies.

8. Daylight Savings should be a universal thing, dammit. We dropped back an hour on Sunday, and I gotta tell ya it surprised the hell out of me. Yall don’t change back in the states until November, but we get feisty during the Days of Awe, so we’re now 9 hours ahead of CA and 7 hours ahead of TX. I had finally gotten used to the difference, and it’s not a huge change, but now I’m doing the math in my head all the time again. And then in November I’ll have to do it again… baaaaaaaaaaaah. Damn you, time!

9. I need to get dressed. Cause I’m pretty sure shorts and a t-shirt won’t do. Gotta run. גמר חתימה טובה!

Domestic Bliss

It is, absolutely, everything I thought it would be.

The sun shines brighter now. The air is crisper. The birds sing Neil Diamond tunes.

I now officially live in Tel Aviv.

Saturday night I brought my big suitcase and my backpack over to the apartment, figuring I’d go back and get my second bag and guitar on my second trip. It was 1:30 in the morning when I got to the place, and I opened the door to find 4 packed suitcases and two startled Austrians still asleep and NOT on a plane back to stupid Europe (a part of the globe for which I will gladly admit to have lost all respect, because of the Italian Michael Scott, the idiot Mischa, and the countless, foul smelling tourists I met in my month at Hayarkon 48).

The Austrian guy came out of what would, in 3 hours, be my bedroom and looked at me. I waved, dropped my bag in the living room, and left. Went back and slept on the bare mattress at the hostel, and early in the morning I lugged my second bag, guitar, and backpack back to the place. Haas.

When I got in, I jumped on the bed a little, took a shower, and went to class.

Sunday was a weird day in class. We had a little fiesta in our classroom because three of our students were leaving us. Alessandro was going back to life in Italy, Tiree back to France, and Johanna to Germany. Somebody brought lasagna, which I ate despite the fact that it was 9am, and we barely learned because after our fiesta there was an assembly.

Me looking like a dope with Esther, my teacher.

For those of you who don’t know, the Jewish New Year was Monday night-Tuesday (and Wednesday if you’re super-jew or in Israel). ראש השנה (Rosh Hashana) began at sundown, and Hadas invited me to her family’s celebration. With about 20 people, all Hadas’ mom’s side of the family, we gathered around an enormous table in an enormous apartment and had an enormous feast.

On Rosh Hashana, there are apparently 7 foods with symbolic meaning that you’re supposed to dip in sugar. We started doing it, with spinach and fried onions and random other things that don’t belong in sugar. I lost count of the foods, so when they plopped potatoes down on my plate and told me they were Harif, I merrily shoved in a mouthful.

Harif means spicy.

So after a great meal, complete with sweat and tears and spice that literally could not be stifled by water or bread but only by slicing off your tongue and calling it a day, we made our way over to Hadas’ father’s apartment. Because I was the guest, her grandmother and father would not let me not eat, so I had to stuff cake in on top of the pile of food from the last dinner. Good cake though.

Me and German Johanna. I think I like learning more than she does.

We went to Hadas’ friend’s going-away party at some club after the dinners, from which we did not depart until after 1:30 in the morning. I don’t know whether it’s the violent circumstances that have loomed around Israel, or if it’s that everyone has served time in the army and everyone knows how to operate an M16, or if it’s just a phenomenon of the region, but metal music is huge here. Most people I know in the States have not heard of or simply don’t care for bands like Dream Theater (insanely popular here), Nightwish, and other screamo, noisy, obnoxious metal bands… but here they’re the Blink182s and the Green Days. Except they like those too.

I didn’t get home til 5:30 in the morning. Called Grandy & Loretta in SA, and Grandma & Grandpa in El Paso, and Mom/Johnny/Stacy/Lauren/Margot in Dallas. Because I was up so late, everyone got the feeling New Years here is like New Years back home… but the two were unrelated. Truth be told, the two new years celebrations are totally different; this one is, you know, festive, and not a huge let down every year, cause you don’t count down to anything, you just toast one another’s health and eat a ton. Also, on every Jewish holiday.

Israel is freakin dead during the holidays. And I mean, I get it, but everything is shut down. It’s even hard to find a place to get food… I should have stocked the fridge Sunday, as even a few of the grocery stores are closed. Restaurants, shops, everything shuts down. Actually it reminded me a bit of Christmas in the states… and since it did, and I’m a jew, I decided to check and see if the movie theaters were open.

Sure enough… I bet the Muslims and Christians spend all day in there. Then they eat Chinese food.

So I don’t have many other updates, other than to tell all of you that life is totally different and much better now. It’s been nice getting emails from all of you back home, keep ‘em coming!

And now for the second installment of Things that make me feel sorry for English as a 2nd Language Students:

Take my temperature… where to? Shouldn’t it be calculate my temperature? Or measure my temperature? or something? Nope. Take it somewhere.

I am finished… If you really think about this, you should be the direct object of this sentence, which means that you, yourself, are ending. It should be “I have finished this,” but alas, it’s not. Sucks for you non-english speakers.

Hurry up, slow down, slow up… Logically, the opposite of hurry up should be hurry down. But it isn’t. And you can command somebody to “hurry!” but you can’t command someone to “slow!” without an adverb. And it doesn’t matter whether you say slow up or slow down because they mean the same thing, even though they should be opposites. So shouldn’t some changes be made? Add “hurry down” to english rhetoric. Or make up your mind as to whether slowing is ascendant or descendant. Because, people, it can’t be both.

Lay lie lain lied laid… to be fair, this is hard for native English speakers too. I’d try to explain it, but I’d probably be wrong. I just guess when I’m talking, and hope nobody knows the difference.

Catch up… This one’s really odd if you think about it. To catch up with someone means either to familiarize one another with the happenings of your lives or to eliminate the distance between you and a person who is ahead of you, distance wise. So not only are there two entirely different meanings for the phrase, but it doesn’t even make sense in the first place; catch up? How do you catch a direction?

In my experience, directions are very elusive.