Random Musings

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I put together my 2008 playlist today. That was cool.

Last year while we were driving through israel, I began to put together a chronology of my aural memories of 2007, starting with my first memories from the MDA365 retreat at the end of winter break, working my way through the USG Elections that Andrea and I were in charge of, past spring break, the trip to Detroit, summer school, the trip to South America, term papers and Chief of Staff stuff and bad dates, all the way up to that trip to Israel.

It was 76 songs long, and it took me several days on the bus to listen to it. But I focused on the nostalgia… and because the songs were in the order not of their release, or of the time I bought them, but in the order of the memories they inspired, I was able to watch Matthew’s 2007 Retrospective on brainfilm. It was an incredible thing, one I vowed to do again.

Problem is, it was pretty spontaneous last time, I was doing it on an ipod and just kind of threw it together. This time I was much more thoughtful, which resulted in a 148 song playlist. So I’m thinking I have some parsing to do… since i’ve jumped from 5 hours of music to 9.5 hours of music.

On the other hand, I made the playlist 2 weeks earlier this year… so maybe it’ll be okay.

Some of the songs on the list aren’t even that good… it’s not about quality, it’s about whether the song reminds me of something particular. There are over-represented albums and under… some of these songs were less impactful than the album on which they were featured, so I needed to give them context (like Narrow Stairs, Carney’s demo, and MSR’s Population). Anyway, if anyone else wants to watch my retrospective, you can check out the playlist here soon.

I highly recommend this to anyone who has a little bit of time on their hands. It’s actually remarkably easy to do… you can just put your itunes in order of “date added” to your library, and then scroll through. Make sure you look at playlists you’ve made this year… and try to remember if there were any old songs that made a surprise appearance over the past 12 months.

My year began with Radiohead’s Fake Plastic Trees and is ending with Johnny Foreigner’s Dj’s Have Doubts, though i probably need to find a more uplifting conclusion. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

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Can anyone tell me why I’ve been having such psychotic dreams?

Every night I’m having these crazy freaking dreams. Like a couple nights ago, I dreamt that Harry Potter had a drug problem. And there’s something wrong with Hermoine, so him and Ron and Draco are flying all over the place trying to save the day, and Draco lights up this cigar and Harry takes it from him and is like, “God Draco, you douche, you’re so unprofessional,” and storms off to his own broom. But then as he’s getting back on his broom, he sneaks out this fat blunt and uses the cigar to light his joint… then rides off smoking a j. And at some point in the dream they’re all in an SUV, and Lupin is driving the car and says, “Dammit Harry, how do you expect to defeat the dark lord if you’re stoned all the goddamn time?”

Dude, I know. Simultaneously the dorkiest, most messed up, and off-the-wall dream of all time. But I have other crazy dreams too, and thank you very much, they’re not all about Harry Potter and his crazy weed addiction. Should I be eating something different before bed?

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Unrelated to my life in any way (this is a disclaimer), I have a question to put to moviegoers.

I’ve been studying while the television plays in the background, and over the last week or so the movies How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Hitch were both on. Now the formula for most chick flicks is as follows: guy digs girl… guy slowly wins over girl… guy and girl are about to be a done deal when either (a) guy does something wrong, or (b) girl discovers something guy did wrong a while back… guy gives big speech in the rain…guy and girl are in love and perfect forever and ever. The standard chick flick is about a flawed-but-trying guy who falls for a perfect girl, loses her, and then has to win her back.

But in these movies, and in many chick flicks of late, girls have more power, they’re more human. Which I’m in favor of, cause you know, yay for dudes and dudettes being equal. But in these movies, it’s guy digs girl… guy slowly wins over girl… guy and girl are about to be a done deal when suddenly girl does something wrong or is found out. But at the end of the movie… the dude still apologizes in the rain and wins the girl back.

It’s not that I’m against the guy apologizing… but these storylines don’t even make sense. Like in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, this chick makes this guy’s life a living hell for a week and a half just for kicks, but then at the end of the movie, she’s heartbroken and he has to chase her cab down on his studly motorcycle to giver her a dramatic speech on a bridge or something. In Hitch, this chick ruins Will Smith’s career, destroys Kevin James’ relationship, and worst of all, throws salad all over Hitch’s awesome New York apartment. She literally ruins his life, and she tosses out this half-assed apology at some point in this throw-away scene… and then 10 minutes later, Hitch suddenly “realizes” that he’s losing someone he loves, so he runs dramatically to her apartment and tells her he wants and loves her and that he’s so sorry for whatever it is he did. 

I’ve been wondering this since I saw the latter in high school: am I crazy, or do chick flicks just not make any sense? And don’t get me started on the really crazy ones. Like Serendipity? Or PS I Love You? The premises of these movies are absolutely absurd. I mean absolutely. Like there is not even a sniff of rationality. Who the F writes these things?

Although I’ll say this… I’d apologize to Eva Mendes even if I didn’t do anything wrong. She’s a babe.

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Um, has anyone seen this article on CNN?

Panda bites student seeking a hug

BEIJING (AP) – A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear’s enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday.

        

The student was visiting Qixing Park with classmates on Friday when he jumped the 6.5-foot (2-meter) high fence around the panda’s habitat, said the park employee, who refused to give his name.

The park in Guilin, a popular tourist town in the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, houses a small zoo and a panda exhibit. It was virtually deserted when the student scaled the fence surrounding the panda, named Yang Yang, the employee said.

He said the student was bitten on the arms and legs. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help from workers at a nearby refreshment stand, who notified park officials, the employee said.

The student was pale as he was taken away by medics but appeared clear-headed, he said.

“Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack,” the 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, said in a local hospital, according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

Liu underwent surgery Friday evening and was out of danger, but will remain in the hospital for several days, Xinhua said.

Yang Yang, who was flown to Guilin last year from Sichuan province, was behaving normally on Saturday and did not seem to suffer any negative psychological effects, the park employee said.

He said it was not clear whether the facility would add more signs around the enclosure or put more fences up.

“We cannot make it like a prison. We already have signs up warning people not to climb in,” he said. “There are no fences along roads but people know not to cross if there are cars. This is basic knowledge.”

Pandas, which generally have a public image as cute, gentle creatures, are nonetheless wild animals that can be violent when provoked or startled.

Last year, a panda at the Beijing Zoo attacked a teenager, ripping chunks out of his legs, when he jumped a barrier while the bear was being fed.

The same panda was in the news in 2006 when he bit a drunk tourist who broke into his enclosure and tried to hug him while he was asleep. The tourist retaliated by biting the bear in the back. 

Now I’m not even going to address the drunk guy or the guy whose legs got eaten. That needs no response. But… I’m no genius, and I make plenty of mistakes. But when I saw the headline, I was like, awwww poor kid. Then I read the article. And frankly, you should know better than to hug a freaking bear by the time you’re 20 years old.

Then again, maybe the Chinese are just saying Liu is 20, when really he’s a 9-year-old in a tight gymnastics uniform.

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So folks, here’s what my ballot will look like. If you have any insight on any of these propositions, I’d love to hear them; in case you haven’t heard, i’m far away and don’t really know what’s going on in Cali these days.

Proposition 1a: Yes. I’m a fan of this light-rail concept, and I think it’s one that will eventually be more of a trend throughout the United States. I keep waiting for a Branson or a Gates or a Buffett to just say “screw the tax dollars and the government, I’ll do it myself” and just start connecting America’s biggest cities. I know it’s expensive, but frankly, I’m not in a high enough tax bracket to care. At all. In the long run, it will help Californians’ air quality, economic stability, and mobility. Any proposition that can help all of that, I dig. Also, I think it really says something that this law has been reanalyzed and redeveloped several times; lawmakers have put real thought and care into this one, and it really bolsters my confidence in the proposition to know smart people have labored over it.

Proposition 2: No. I know Kelly Stuyvessant will hate me for this, but I’m going to have to vote No on Prop. 2. Seriously, I totally agree that it’s vile and inhumane to keep animals in cages that don’t give them the space to sit, stand, and lie down. That’s disgusting, truly. But California plays host to virtually no pork and veal ranchers, and I understand the ranchers’ perspective when they say that large cages for egg-bearing chickens will allow other chickens to destroy the eggs, decreasing output and effectively jeopardizing these farmers’ economic stability. And frankly, I don’t feel it’s worth the cost (we lose tax revenues from agriculturalists, not to mention what I think will result in increased spending on enforcement), and I honestly don’t think it will be enforced. If you can’t enforce a law, don’t make it.

Proposition 3: Maybe. I’m undecided on this one. This proposition would send 980 million in bonds from the state’s general fund to pay for “the construction, expansion, remodeling, renovation, furnishing and equipping of children’s hospitals.” Which, on the one hand, is hard to vote against. On the other hand, however, the 750 million Californians voted on in 2004 still haven’t all been payed… so it seems like a waste. I need to read more about this one before I make up my mind.

Proposition 4: Hell No. There are few propositions that come before us that I vehemently reject so aggressively as I do this one. Yet again, conservative bigots in California with literally no compassion for young women in difficult situations are trying to push a parental consent for a minor’s abortion proposition. It is more important that we protect these girls from taking things into their own hands and finding an illegal clinic or trying to miscarry or doing what that girl at USC did, hiding their pregnancy and then giving birth to the baby, dropping it into a trash bag and tossing it into the dumpster. A woman is a woman is a woman, and nobody should be allowed to forbid her from doing what’s right, health- and safety-wise, but her.

Propositions 5 & 6: Yes. Perhaps strangely, I am probably voting Yes on both of these propositions. I guess some people would call it a strange decision because Prop. 5 reduces criminal accountability and Prop. 6 does the opposite. However, I am of the firm belief that a greater proportion of non-violent drug-related crimes need to be treated rather than punished. Maybe that makes me uber-liberal… but I do think addiction is often a medical disorder, and the proper way to fix it is to treat it rather than punish people for it.

I also really like that violent drug crimes are to be more strictly enforced under this law. That puts the focus on the right stuff. So 5 is a for sure yes.

As for Prop. 6, I think gang related crime is out of hand, and you know it down near USC. But the flip side of that is that gangs fight with other gangs, they don’t mess with students. When the gangs are gone, the streets get more violent for the students because random criminals target the wealthy kids at SC. I’m leaning toward yes on this one, but I’d really like to see some legislation that deals with criminal behavior in economically mixed areas.

Proposition 7: Maybe. This is another proposition I should probably read a little more about. I’m all for renewable energy, but if it won’t make a big impact, then i don’t know if it’s worth the several million dollars the government will spend on it. And when the government’s spending, we’re spending… I just have to make sure that the benefit is worth the cost before i cast my vote.

Proposition 8: Helllll No. I absolutely completely loathe this proposition. It is disgusting and demeaning and horrible. Eight years ago, the morons in California voted to outlaw gay marriage, but since it was merely a law, the state’s supreme court was able to strike it down earlier this year. Yall heard about that when Ellen got married and stuff. Now, the bigots want to make it a constitutional amendment, so the “activist judges” can’t “ruin” marriage again. I understand if the catholic church refuses to wed two men or two women, but a nation founded on the ideals of tolerance and equal rights should be striving to reach the utopian vision upon which we were founded. We separate church from state and allow for absolute free speech because being American is supposed to mean it doesn’t matter what else you are. Over time, we realized we treated black Americans wrong, and we began to fix it. We realized we granted women fewer rights than men, and we began to fix it. We recognized that we allowed immigrants less opportunity than 2nd and 3rd generation Americans, and we began to fix it.

Now it’s time to recognize that two people in a committed, loving relationship deserve to be allowed to visit one another in the hospital, have rights to one another’s property in case of death, and be offered the considerations we grant loving couples… regardless of whom they love. Especially in California; people from around the world come to America to pursue their greatest hopes and dreams… Americans come to California for the same reason.

Most of these people are religious christians, which leads me to this question as well: doesn’t Christianity teach you to live in the image of God, to try your best to be as like God, and as like Jesus, as you possibly can be? I assure you, Prop 8 Christians, that Jesus is pissed about this legislation. The whole idea of Jesus Christ is that the lord loves all of his children.I hope Proposition 8 burns, and that its supporters are ashamed of their intolerance.

Proposition 9: Yes. I actually like this proposition. I didn’t know a measure like this wasn’t already in place… it should be. This proposition allows for victims to participate in the criminal justice process of considering convicts for parole, and it also includes the safety of the victim in the considerations. We have really no idea how much it will cost and how much it will save, although we do know it will probably be a net loss, but i think it’s worth it to protect victims of violent crime, especially rape and crimes against women and children.

Proposition 10: Maybe. I estimate that I will decide on this proposition when i put my pen on the paper on my ballot. I have the same concerns as the other environmental law, along with my apprehension over T. Boone Pickens’ personal gain from this huge investment. The guy makes money off natural gas, and he’s trying to get the state of California to put billions of dollars, over 30 years, into fuel alternatives, particularly- you guessed it- natural gas. But will that huge investment lead to truly cleaner air, a more stable economy, and independence from foreign oil? California’s got something like the 7th largest economy in the world among nations, and I can really dig the idea of us setting an economic and environmental global standard.

Proposition 11: Yes. I’m voting yes on this, but if it passes, I really think I’m going to do something to make sure it works the right way. As was the whole issue with Tom DeLay a few years back, redistricting is always, without fail, done with the best interests of incumbents in mind. That is, unless it’s not done by the incumbents themselves. I love that we’re trying to take the power out of the incumbents’ hands and allow for redistricting to be based solely on the populations and their geographical locations. In order for this to work right, though, we have to make sure that minority interests are represented on the new citizens’-panel, seeing as wealth and stature frequently dominate these things and keep the little-guy out.

Proposition 12: Yes. Nobody votes against veterans. Including me. As we’ve done over and over again in California, we’re gonna hook them up. Cause god love ‘em, they’ve kept us safe in the darkest of times.

So I guess that’s what my ballot will look like. Oh yeah… and I’m voting for the Tiger Woods guy for President.

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Dear Senator McCain,

Are you kidding?

I’m sure that announcing to the American public that they should “expect more from their leaders” than statements and rallies feels good, and I imagine that if you didn’t think it would also poll well, you would probably still be wearing that ridiculous baseball hat and pretending to offer “new” governance that somehow doesn’t resemble your last two and a half decades of consistent work. If I had an IQ as low as a chimpanzee, I would probably appreciate your so-called commitment to resolving this crisis (into which you and the GOP helped guide our nation in the first place).

But this is, at the very least, an insult to the intellect of the American people. And you’re a fool if you think that your attempt to suspend the presidential race is, in any way, even remotely responsible.

There are 435 congressmen, 100 senators, 1 Vice-President and 1 President, and thousands upon thousands of staffers who serve these 537 lawmakers in Washington DC. There are think-tanks and Non-Governmental Organizations and non-profits devoted to avoiding and resolving economic crises. And I also like to believe that at least some of the millions of people who stand to lose everything if our economy continues to slide into oblivion are willing to do their part and work to find a solution to our problem.

You’re talking about making it more difficult for the American people to make an informed decision about the man who will lead this country, and the world, during a time of the utmost peril. And you can try to spin it any way you like– it is downright irresponsible to take any of the Vice-Presidential and Presidential debates away from the American people. Undecided voters as well as staunch Democrats and Republicans do deserve more from their leaders than political ploys and speeches. But that doesn’t mean what we want is for you to make it harder for us to determine our future.

What I’m saying is this– with that many people in Washington, I’m pretty confident we can afford to spare two lawmakers in the interest of determining the future of our nation and of this world. Even if lawmakers were to temporarily balance our economy out, look at what is happening around you: unemployment rates are skyrocketing, some of the most unbreakable financial institutions in the world are finding themselves not just broken but broke, we’ve fought in Iraq longer than we fought in the second world war, schools in cities like Charlotte and Baltimore and even Washington DC are falling apart. The nation is in disarray, and if you deny us the opportunity to really know the men, or the man and woman, that will take over once President Bush is gone, in what way have you served us faithfully?

After reading Maureen Dowd’s comical editorial describing what a meeting between The West Wing’s President Josiah “Jed” Bartlet and Senator Obama would be like, I was reminded of fictional-President Bartlet’s love for the game of chess. Great chess players can see several moves ahead. They don’t play the game based on what’s about to happen to their rook– they play based on what will happen with their queen and their knights in six moves, and the safety of their king in nine moves. One of George W. Bush’s greatest downfalls as President of the United States was that he never seemed to look into the future. I honestly don’t think we ever found out whether he could calculate risk and result or predict consequences, simply because he chose not to look ahead. That’s how you lose in chess, and that’s how George Bush went from being President at a difficult time to being a bad President at a difficult time.

You’re promising change now, so deliver it: end the era of act-now, screw-tomorrow GOP politics. And while you’re at it, end the new Republican tradition of secretiveness, of political ploys disguised as patriotism and rash courses of action explained as confident diligence. I am not going to pretend that participating in these debates and continuing to campaign will somehow compel all Americans to both cast their vote and do so with a responsible amount of understanding of what it is they’re voting for. But those of us that do want to know, those of us who do care about the future of this nation, should be allowed to do something about it, and taking that away from us is simply wrong.

Whether our economy collapses or not, whether the violence against our soldiers in Iraq magically ends next week or not, whether we find Osama bin Laden next month or he continues to allude us, one thing will remain true: there will be an election on November 4th. And no matter how “committed” you are to solving our problems, or how much “more” we should expect from you and Senator Obama, as the Republican Nominee for President of these United States of America, you absolutely owe it to the people to show your commitment by looking forward to our future. Part of that future features a new Chief Executive, and it is your duty as your party’s nominee to acknowledge that, and to act not only as a responsible lawmaker, but as a responsible American.

Moreover, any man who does not believe in the fundamental right of an American citizen to make an informed decision about who will lead this nation, who does not value our right to measure the merits and demerits, head to head, of the two people who are fighting to become Leader of the Free World, does not deserve to serve us as President of the United States. In fact, this decision of yours frightens me… knowing that such a prominent member of the US Senate demonstrates such rash irresponsibility is absolutely terrifying.

Believe me, I know how little things like “rights” mean to the McCain/Palin ticket. We all know that you and Governor Palin haven’t any misgivings about torturing suspected criminals (see: Palin’s acceptance speech, in which she proudly mocked her opponents for being “concerned someone won’t read them their rights.”), and that in your nearly unflinching support of President George W. Bush, you have been comfortable with allowing, time and again, the Office of the Vice-President to violate the founding documents of this nation. But regardless of your apparent ambivalence towards silly things like the “Constitution” and “Bill of Rights,” I am begging you to see reason and recognize the importance of allowing us to know who you are and who you would be if elected President.

Bottom line is this, Senator: campaigning for President is not a fishing trip or a family reunion. When there’s a crisis, these are the things you suspend– vacations, holidays, dates, family dinners. And you had better hope that a large number of Americans see your run for the presidency as a brief getaway from the every-day grind of work in Washington, because if your campaign is what it should be (an attempt at redefining our future and governing America with both zeal and thorough contemplativeness), the word that describes what you’re doing is not “patriotic.” In fact, there’s only one word for what you’ve chosen to do.

Irresponsible.

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I have to tell you all, I’m actually really glad I’m not in the United States right now to watch this election transpire up close. I think my gag reflex is too finely tuned.

Nevertheless, I can’t help but check CNN and the videos on YouTube to try to stay somewhat caught up on everything. Today I was going through the latest stuff when I received an email from the Obama campaign in which David Plouffe writes something like, “in case you were wondering whether Senator John McCain is running the sleaziest campaign in political history…”

Look, there was a time when a John McCain presidency didn’t seem like so bad a thing to me. He’s a war hero, he’s been a maverick, he’s got real experience in decision-making and he’s a student of American policy because of his many years in Washington. But that John McCain is not the John McCain that is running for president now, and the man he has become in his quest for the presidency is, without a doubt, despicable.

I would just be sad if he was gaining the lead because his ideas and policies were winning over independent voters. But the fact that lies and propaganda are his primary means of bolstering his following and achieving a victory in the November election makes me sick to my stomach.

I honestly don’t know whether he really will be “4 more years of the same” like the Obama campaign keeps repeating ad nauseum. But I do know that the dirty and repulsive campaign tactics of old are working wonders for a man that used to have, once upon a time, integrity. Please take a moment to watch this video, and if you know anyone who has been manipulated by the lies and deceptions of the GOP and the McCain Campaign, take a minute to do as I’ve done and share this with them.

Bad things happen when good people stay silent. If you take the time to do your research, this is what you’ll discover: both men have their faults, and neither man has a perfect plan for the country or for the world, but only one of these two men is even trying to win this election by telling the people what he believes and by truly listening to what matters most to the people of the country he loves.

Senator Obama’s tax plan may not be great for your wallet, and his stance on abortion may not run absolutely parallel to yours. And even if his hope for a better America and commitment to pursuing the promise of our nation is something you can’t unify behind, I hope that you’ll take a minute to consider what kind of man (not what kind of politician or war hero) you want sitting at that desk. If it was my call, I’d want the man who could look himself in the mirror, or look me in the eye, and not feel dirty telling me he’s an honest man. 

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In Israel, because I don’t speak hebrew, little kids think I’m mentally challenged. I was sitting in this minimall using the wireless internet and a little girl walked up and asked me something in incoherent Hebrew. I said, “Mah?” and she said it again, and I said “Mah?” and she opened her eyes really wide and asked me again, in slow, overly annunciated, impatient hebrew, “ARE YOU USING THAT CHAIR MISTER?”

She was like, five years old. and when I said “lo, kol beseder… aht rotzah?” (no, it’s all good, do you want it?) she shook her head, rolled her eyes, grabbed the chair, and walked off.

Regardless of what my high school Pre-calculus teacher, Mr. Bailey, might tell you, I am not an idiot. But it really is something to be talked down to by a just-pottytrained snot. And yes… I’m bitter. 

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Guys, cigarettes taste gross.

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For any of you who don’t own the name Bret Dennis, riddle me this: when was the last time you popped the first Third Eye Blind LP into your CD player?

Seriously, take a minute and go back, listen to it start to finish. Aside from the fact that it’s hard to imagine that there was a time when the melody of Semi-Charmed Life wasn’t known by virtually anyone with ears, that record is remarkable. One great pop-rock anthem after another… it just makes sunny days sunnier.

Those spazoids better get it together and release another album, if for no other reason than that nostalgia begs it.

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Joe Biden was born in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Does anyone else think that’s kinda awesome? Also, do you wonder whether he ever worked as a salesman or accountant or assistant to a regional manager in some failing mid-range paper supply company? Hmm….

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It’s funny; I’ve been waiting for this day to come for a long, long time. Ever since Busted Stuff was released, a tired album by a tired band, I have been somehow possessed by the mortality of the band that defined my adolescence and made me the musician I am today. As much as I enjoyed listening to that album– Marc and I wandered the streets of London on our first day in Europe just to find that it was not yet being sold there– it allowed me to realize, for the first time, that this amazing musical presence could not last forever, and that someday the Dave Matthews Band would wilt and fade like everything else.

Those of you who always said I was too partial to this band, I have two things to say to you: first, I’m nothing compared to Heather Larabee and countless other DMB addicts, and second, mainstream music of such a high musical caliber is absolutely praiseworthy. But I have felt, for the last few years, that DMB misplaced its soul somewhere along the way. And now, missing such an integral body part makes it even more of a practical impossibility for these musicians, whom I loved so well for so long, to recover what they have lost.

So for the first time in over 2 years, I am listening to the sweet sound of Dave Matthews Band, playing #41 and Crash live, with a saxophonist who raised the musical IQ of the band, and the fans, on a nightly basis. He was by no means the greatest saxophonist in modern music… but he added an element to that band that helped give them the most unique identity in all of mainstream music in the last two decades.

I don’t think DMB will be around for too many more years. Their greatest, most magnificent work of art, Before These Crowded Streets, is now 10 years old, and with their left arm missing and their heart worn and tired, I just cannot imagine them resurrecting the creature I once felt I knew so well. But I really am grateful for what they gave me as a teen; if not for these five fine fellows, I would not seek so passionately to make music that matters, that values rhythmic and melodic and harmonic experimentation, and that, above all else, heals me and heals others. That’s what music is for, at the end of the day. It is a cure, or a treatment at least, for the injuries we sustain in our everyday battles with the ineffable in life.

So this post is more for me than for anyone else, but it’s a place for me to say thank you to Leroi Moore for giving me the music of my junior high and high school years. And for those of you that take the time to read this, I encourage you to dig into your CD collection and unearth those old, beat-up copies of Under the Table and Dreaming and Crash, and treat yourself to one of the first successful and most exciting fusion experiments in modern music.

Today’s a good day to say goodnight, and thank you for everything, to the Dave Matthews Band.

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10 Reasons I Love Andrew Bernard:

10.  You just got Nard-dogged!

9.  You, me, bar, beers, buzzed… Wings, shots, drunk… Waitresses, hot… Football, Cornell/Hofstra–slaughter. Then quick nap at my place, and we hit the tizzown!

8.  Nog-a-sake. One part eggnog, three parts sake. Some places won’t make it for you though because eggnog is seasonal.

7.  Pamalamadingdong… Listen, you’re cute. There’s no getting around it. So I don’t know if you like country music but I was thinking one of these days we could drive out to a field, crank up some tunes, smoke a few Macanudos, maybe even toss a disc around…at-whay o-day ou-yay ink-thay, m-pay?

6.  Sniper rifle?! Saboteur! I’m gonna kill you for real.

5.  You know, if you want your laundry done right, I used to work at Abercrombie…so… pretty good folder.

4.  Oompa Loompa Doopety Dossum, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome… Why is he gone? He was such a nice guy! No he was not, he was a total douche…. Doopety Do.

3.  I am now chopping off Phyllis’s head with a chainsaw! Ringinginginginging….

2.  I know she told you she’s looking, and she’s totally not responding to my moves. I mean, I’ve moonwalked past accounting like ten times.

and finally,

The number 1 Reason I love Andrew Bernard (who went to Cornell…ever heard of it?):

1.  I’m always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter… who makes… stairs.

 

God Bless The Office.